I'm a bad ass girl in this messed up world*

Don't worry Ashlee, I can't sing either. Of course, I make that very clear anytime I karaoke, but then again, you're supposed to hear the tape. I couldn't not say anything about this for two reasons: 1) It's the big "story" of the weekend and 2) I hate her. Well, hate is a strong word. Let's just say that if I saw her on the street I would definitely stare (c'mon, I even stare at reality tv stars), but would definitely not smile. She'd feel the cold draft of my hatred at that point. Normally, I would feel embarrassed for her, after all she is just a young girl trying to make it in this crazy, messed up world (on the coattails of her prettier, more successful sister)....but then she had this to say on her official website, titled "Get your jabs in now":
Once i can get in contact with the webmaster, everythings getting deleted. It doesn't matter anyway, there's too many important people behind my career to stop it now.
Next up- Fame: Friend or Foe?

Last person in the world I'd ever want to give me advice- Nicole Richie. Of course, it's supposed to be aimed at adolescents. And what better gift from a mother to her daughter than advice on life from a "former" (the quotes indicate loose interpretation of the word former...in case you didn't catch that) druggie who doesn't technically do anything. Her literary agent described it as "kinda like a big sister's guide to life. How to deal with peer pressure and things like that, for girls." This is bullsh*t. There's no way it will be half as funny as "Confessions of a Heiress." Funniest. Book. Ever.

It's over Affleck. And Ms. Garner, you should get out while you can before he drags you down w/ him.

If you like practicing Kabbalah. (to be sung to the theme of "Pina Colada"...try it- it's fun!) It's the who's who of Kabblists...Britney rubbing elbows w/ Paris, Demi fraternizing w/ Madonna. And then there's Gywneth. Did I miss her conversion? Do you even have to convert or is it just poof, I'm a Kabbalist? As Emily says, Kabbalah is Judaism light. And I'm not a fan of anything light. (Diet Dr. Pepper doesn't taste a damn thing like real Dr. Pepper....liars!)
R.

*This is an actual, honest to god lyric from Simpson's song "Autobiography." Please....if she's a bad ass, then I'm a world famous juggler (and for those of you who know me, I can't juggle for sh*t)